Am I doing it right?
Am I doing it right?
My first real experience of mindfulness came when I took part in a week-long residential course with the fabulous Vidyamala Burch at Breathworks Mindfulness, back in 2012. Whilst I was there under her guidance, and sharing with the other students, I felt a new sense of exquisite wonder at the world around me. It was an incredible experience as we all travelled along this path on our brand-new journey together.
But on my return home, as I practised alone, I always felt that I was doing it ‘wrong’. I imagined everybody else from the course peacefully gliding through their days, being mindful and at one with everything and everyone they encountered. Whereas for me it was either a constant reminder that I hadn’t been mindful or completely forgetting about being mindful at all! These doubts and thoughts have plagued me since. Well, that is until two days ago!
Anyone who knows me will know that I absolutely adore and worship the ancient blossom trees in the churchyard opposite my house. There are four of them in total and to say that when they are in full bloom they are absolutely stunning, doesn’t even begin to describe their beauty. Anyway, as I stood outside my front door two days ago I bumped into a lovely neighbour who was passing by. We got chatting about the blossom trees and she remarked how sad it was that the beautiful pink blossoms only lasted two days. “Two days”, I said! “They lasted at least three weeks!” She looked at me aghast as though I was living on another planet (haha, perhaps I am). This exchange was followed by a long conversation where she was absolutely convinced that it was only two days and I, on the other hand, was convinced that it was at least three weeks. We laughed at one another realising that neither of us could see the other’s perspective.
I continued on my way to take Lola dog for a walk, and as I did I pondered on how it was that both of us who had exactly the same view from our cottages could experience two such different worlds.
And then I realised ….
I had seen the blossom trees through the eyes of mindfulness. 🙂
I had seen them from the very first moment each blossom had begun to swell on their branches. I could even show you exactly which branch the first blossom emerged from. I watched day after day as one by one 1000s of blossoms spread over each tree, bursting forth like magic. Until finally, every single blossom was out in her full glory and the trees were heavy with their weight. Every day I would either gaze from my windows in awe at natures beauty or pop over the road and sit under the trees themselves, absorbing their energy and feeling into their magic. I meditated on them, I photographed them, I touched them, and don’t tell anyone, but I actually kissed them! I felt them at my deepest core. They were the first thing I saw when I opened my bedroom curtains and the last thing I saw as I closed them at night. I thanked them for their gifts a dozen times a day. From the moment the first bud appeared, to the moment they had all fallen, was at the very least three weeks and probably more.
But you know what? Even then they were not gone. The ground around them was carpeted in pink, the steps leading up to the church was carpeted in pink, everywhere I looked was pink and let me tell you this, it is a sight to behold for sure.
So yes, perhaps the work that you and I do really is making a difference without us even realising it. We may have doubts as to whether we are doing it ‘right’, but at least we’re doing it. Whatever your practice, be it mindfulness, chi gong, yoga, pilates, sound healing, crystal healing, meditation or any of the other beautiful practices that make up our spiritual world, please don’t doubt yourself for one moment. Even though you might feel you’re not doing it ‘right’, believe me, you are DOING it, and THAT is what is important. ❤️
With love. Claire xx