Changing The Way I Live & Coach
Changing The Way I Live & Coach
I’ve changed the name of my coaching work from ‘Women’s Empowerment’ to ‘Life in Balance’. Not just that, but I’ve also totally changed the way I now live my life. I’ve been wondering how to put it all into words, I’m not a great blog writer it has to be said! And then I realised that it isn’t about getting the words right, it’s about feelings, about intuition and about writing from my heart instead of my head. So here goes….
My previous coaching work was all about women’s empowerment, hence the name. It was based on re-discovering our innate inner-power, and using it to take us forward with a strong sense of self-belief and with the intention of achieving all our goals, no matter what! Well, it worked. There was no doubt about that. But to what cost?
When we focus 100% of our intention on anything, be it work, relationships, health, finances, whatever it is, what happens to the rest of our lives? For myself, I was dedicating 100% of my life to rebuilding my work at Living Now Events. Due to my house move to Dorset (I’m now back in Devon, but that’s a story for another time) I’d handed Living Now Events over to a friend early last year, but unfortunately, due to changes in her own life, she found that she was unable to run it as planned. So, when I moved back to Devon a year later I took it back on. There had been a long lapse in between my handing the company over and me taking back the reigns. As a consequence I needed, or at least I thought I needed, to put in 100% of my time into rebuilding it back to its former status. Well four months later, and after an awful lot of hard work, I got there! 12 speakers booked covering every month throughout 2019, all the venues and function rooms booked, speaker’s B&B’s booked and every event uploaded to my website. Only another events organiser would know just how much work this entailed. I was super-proud of myself.
But, what had happened to the rest of my life? What had happened my social life? What had happened to my self-care? What had happened to my home, to my family? Basically, I had put all of those things on hold whilst giving 100% of my energy to my business. In short, I was totally out of balance and exhausted! No, not even exhausted, I was burned out!
This left me in a position where far from feeling joy and satisfaction with my achievements, I actually felt completely worn out, drained, left with no sense of satisfaction and feeling resentful of the months that I’d dedicated to my business. I was confused, totally confused! Why was it that after achieving everything I had set out to achieve, I felt nothing but a sense of numbness?
I had to pull back for a couple of weeks to deeply reflect on why I was feeling this way. This led to a huge sense of guilt because I was no longer putting any effort into promoting the events and the speakers I had so painstakingly organised. Not doing so meant that tickets were not selling and the business wasn’t doing as well as it needed to survive. This led to an overwhelming feeling of stress and anxiety and again more resentment. A vicious circle that was spiralling out of control.
I went to bed and cried….
This is when I finally realised that life should be about balance, and that balance wasn’t something I had in my life by any stretch of the imagination! I’d been totally focusing all my intention and attention on one thing, to the detriment of absolutely everything else!
Look, as a single person running two businesses (events and coaching), as the only one here who’s going to pay the bills, I understand why I put all my energy into doing what I did. My intention was right, but my method was completely wrong.
We are taught that we need to strive to survive. But with a deep sigh of release, I came to realise that it doesn’t have to be that way. I began to spend slow and gentle time in nature, watching how the seasons, the sun, moon, planets, plants, trees, birds, animals and insects followed rhythms of doing and non-doing, working and resting, being active and being still. I followed their lead and my life slowly came back onto a calm and even keel. I was happy again, I’d found peace.
It was then that I knew without any shadow of a doubt that I wanted and needed to change direction not just of my own life, but of my coaching life too. I wanted to work in a way that was calming, relaxing, nurturing and left me and my clients feeling a deep sense of peace and tranquillity. I no longer have any desire to set and strive towards goals for myself or for my clients. I simply ask myself every day in everything I do, “Is what I am doing in this moment nurturing me? Do I feel a sense of balance and joy? Am I happy? Do I feel at peace?” And if the answer is no, I stop doing it! In just a few short weeks, after changing the direction of my own life and working in this way, I became happier and more at peace with life than I’d been in years!
Because I long to share this experience with others, my work as a life coach will now be totally dedicated to a Life in Balance. I will still continue to do 1:1’s, but I’m also really drawn towards group work, a day spent together gently investigating where it is that our lives have become out of balance, where it is that we have put certain aspects of our lives on hold in order to focus on other areas, and how it is that we can bring everything back into a state of equilibrium and flow to live and work in a way that brings joy, peace and harmony. And by doing so, ultimately achieve more ever before, with ease.
If you’d like to know more or perhaps even join me and a small, intimate and friendly group of women on a one-day ‘Life in Balance’ workshop, please feel free to contact me and say hi.
Written with love. Claire ❤️